


Of Tys and Tones

by CoffeeCupCrazy



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, M/M, Mild Language, No Sex, Only funny when you should be sleeping, wrote this when I should be sleeping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-13
Updated: 2014-05-13
Packaged: 2018-01-24 14:35:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1608641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoffeeCupCrazy/pseuds/CoffeeCupCrazy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony has a hangover and doesn't want to deal with the villain of the day. When he finds out it's Ty he fixes the problem with a phone call and the help of Mama Stone. Nothing but Crack and poor writing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Tys and Tones

Tony sat at the conference table waiting for the briefing to begin, a pounding headache beating a drum inside his brain. Clint was spinning circles in his chair before Natasha kicked her foot out from her own spot around the table, sending the chair wheeling across the room.

Bruce just sighed and wiped his glasses on his shirt before laying his head down on his arms. “All right, we have the location of our targets. They have congregated in Iowa in an abandoned factory,” Steve announced as he walked in. Walking around the table he handed a file to each member. “Thor is currently in New Mexico with Mrs. Foster but we have managed to contact her via phone and she has already passed on the information. He said he would meet us there when we gave the go.”

Tony groaned, unhappy to be dealing with this shit while hung over. “Can’t we send someone else to take care of them? I mean, isn’t it overkill for just a couple of delusional scientists to send the whole team. Natasha could take them out with a pinkie and her left foot?”  
Natasha bared her teeth, “Think of it as punishment for drinking the whole bar last night Stark.” Tony whined, a very manly whine, but a whine all the same, “I just had two glasses.” Clint snorted. “Got something to say bird brain?”

“Let’s not get off topic guys. This is a serious national threat. Our resources say…” Steve was interrupted by Tony, “…they say that this can be handled tomorrow.”

“The fuck they did. If you can get these criminals to take the day off then be my guest, but until then shut your mouth and sit pretty,” Fury stated as he walked into the room with his general pirate-like presence. Steve and Bruce both straightened up as he walked into the room in a bid to seem like the good little boys they were. Or at least that was Tony’s opinion. “I don’t have time to deal with your whining Stark, so you are going to go out there and do the motherfucking job you signed up to do.”

“Technically I didn’t sign anything.” Fury turned to glare at Tony, but really it made no difference. “Now if everyone would be quiet, I would like to die in piece,” he mumbled as he leaned back in his chair and threw his arm over his eyes.”

“Well it’s a good thing I don’t care what you want isn't it?” Fury rounded on Steve as he was the only one likely to actually listen to anything he said. “How far did you get?”

“I just handed out the files sir,” Steve answered, back still ramrod straight.

“Well I didn’t come by just to see your pretty faces; I have a new piece of Intel for you all.” Fury moved to lean against the table and took his time looking at each of the Avengers in turn. “We captured one of the scientists in question and discovered that the leader of this little group goes by Ty.”

Tony groaned. “Nope. No no no and hell no. I am not with this shit today. Whipping out his cellphone he called out to Jarvis “Call that pain in my ass.”

“The literal one Sir from last night or are you speaking figuratively?” Jarvis said from the phone. Steve blushed and the other Avengers looked curiously between him and Tony but said nothing.

“Don’t sass me, my head hurts too much for this. Also why am I the one with both the sore ass and the hang over?” Tony squinted at the phone as if Jarvis lay at fault and not Steve’s stupidly perfect self.

“I couldn't imagine Sir. Calling Mr. Stone.” Jarvis sounded a touch too happy for Tony’s taste. Tony shut his eyes as the phone rang. Every person in the room was staring at Tony as if he was crazy except for Steve who was too busy blushing and “inspecting his shoes for dirt smudges” to look anywhere near the billionaire.

The line picked up. “Lovely to hear from you.” A voice sounded.

Without opening his eyes Tony responded, “I am not dealing with your shit.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“I am talking about your fuckin operation in Iowa. Call it off.”

“Why should I do that?” At this point the team plus Fury was looking between the man of iron and the phone as if it was the world most interesting tennis match.

“Because I will beat you face in.”

“No you won’t.” Ty sounded so damn smug.

“The fuck I won’t. I will fly over right the fuck now and beat your fucking face in.”

“Dare you.”

“Oh I will. But first….” Tony smiled and reached his hand over to the phone to type a few commands, opening his eyes only the bare minimum needed to do so. The phone started ringing again.

“Tony you hang up right this instant. You do not want to do this,” and for the first time since the phone conversation started Tiberius sounded panicked. Tony just smirked. “Oh but I really do.”

The second line picked up to the now three-way phone conversation, the others still to shocked to say anything. A feminine voice sounded out of the speakers, “Anthony dear, is that you. It said so on the caller ID but you know how bad I can be at technology.”  
Tony took the sweetest voice possible. “Hey Mama Stone. And we’ve been over this, call me Tony.”

She just shushed him over the phone, “You will always be my little Anthony. You’re like to second son I always wanted.” A cocked sound came from Tiberius who was still trying to hide his presence from his mother.”

“And you are like my second Mama, and you know I love you right.”

“Of course dear,” everyone could hear the smile in her voice, “but what do you want. You hardly ever call me anymore. You know I worry. I always see you doing such silly things on the TV.”

“Well you see,” here Tony made sure to sound sheepish, “Ty is being mean and I can’t get him to leave me alone. I have the biggest headache ever, and it hurts so much Mama Stone.” Tony made sure to add a hurt whine to the end for theatrics.

“Oh honey, don’t you worry I’ll deal with him. In fact, I’ll give him such a stern talking to he will be waiting on you hand and foot like the little prince you are. You just go take a nap for a little bit.” She cooed at him a little longer before hanging up to get ready to call the bully in question.

Ty finally spoke up, “You. Little. Shit. When I get my hands on you I am going to….” Tony interjected, “…wait on my hand and foot just like Mama said. And after you do, when I feel better I am going to beat you face in just like I promised. Asshole.”

Tony hung up so Tiberius could deal with his infuriated mother who was calling in on another line. Fury was the first one to break the silence. “What the hell was that Stark?”

“That was Tiberius Stone, who is about to get a verbal beat down from his Mama.” Tony said smugly.

Steve raised his hand, and wasn't that just adorable. When Tony graciously raised pointed at him he said, “I think Director Fury was wondering less about his mother and more about why you have our head villain of the day’s phone number?”

“And his mama’s,” Clint chirped from the corner he was still in after the first time.

Tony nodded like he was humoring a room of toddlers, “Tiberius was my first friend. We were often put together in a room while our parents negotiated business deals. He grew on me. Like a fungus.”

“And his mother?” Bruce added in. 

“She pretty much un-officially adopted me because I was so damn adorable. Now if that’s all I am going to go for that nap to get rid of this headache so I can abuse my new manservant to his full potential.”

“And so you can beat his face in,” Natasha further clarified in her silently amused manner.

“And so I can beat his face in,” Tony agreed. As he walked out the door even as Fury shouted his name Tony called back over his shoulder, ”Coming Steve? I am not sure how much time we are going to get alone now that Ty is going to learn I have a live-in boyfriend.”

Tony cackled as Steve chased after him.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry about the writing style. Writing never was my strong suit. I was always better at reading. But I hope that if any of you got through it and liked the idea of Tony having a unofficially adopted brother in Tiberius (who is still a villain) that maybe you'd write you own. Long, short,funny or serious. I would honestly love you forever for any of them.


End file.
